Um, interesting... I saw a friend on the app that I did not realize was bi. What’s the best way to make it clear I’m flirting?

We have all been there. You learn something new about a close friend, and suddenly you’re looking at them a whole lot different. Honestly, just being super direct is my favorite way to go about it. First of all, press that heart button!! Take the plunge!

In my opinion, inviting them on a date is the easiest way to let them know what you want.

You can say something like: “I know you love cake. Let me take you out on a dessert date?” You probably already know the things they like, so take advantage of that! If that feels too bold for you, then a compliment on their appearance might also do the trick. Pick their best Hinge pic, and lay it on thick. Good luck!

I am sensing that your friend is also a crush, so congrats on finding out that your crush is bi! I’ve actually matched with a mutual friend before and can totally relate to still not knowing if they matched with you because you’re a friend or because they’re into you. Here’s how you can make it very clear that you’re sending flirtation their way.

You could ask them directly by saying something like, “It’s so great connecting with you here! Your profile is dope! I’m curious: did you match with me because we’re friends or because you want to explore a romantic connection? FYI, I totally have a crush on you.”

You could say directly to them, “I am flirting with you, btw. I was so happy when we connected because I’d love to explore the attraction if the feeling is mutual.“

An example of flirting with them directly is giving them a compliment about something about them that intrigues you. For example, “I really enjoy how interesting your stories are. Your mind works in such beautiful ways”. Following this up with one of the direct statements I shared could help them understand your interest in them better!

Ultimately, being clear and direct is so important.

Otherwise, you might both be wondering about one another’s intentions unknowingly.

This moment may seem awkward, but the universe is clearly on your side because you’ve got two things working in your favor. First, you’re on a dating app, so any communication will inherently have a flirtatious undertone. Second, the two of you have been primed for good conversation because you have the best possible thing in common: being bi!

In case you haven’t heard, “Bi4Bi” is very much a thing. (I discovered this phrase way too late, but after I did, my chaotic love life finally made sense.) There’s also a chance that your friend (or dare I say: your crush) doesn’t know how you identify, so your opener can allude to that and reveal you’re on the same page. You could go with a classic retort like “I’m bi too” or hint at the magic of your potential Bi4Bi partnership with a line like, “just two bisexuals on Hinge, nothing to see here!”

It’s a solid rule of thumb: when in doubt about how to queer flirt, just talk about being queer.

At a loss for words? Let a meme do the talking! Fortunately memes are bi culture, so there’s plenty of options to choose from. Consider the one with the Minion eyes that says below it, “I am looking at you…bisexually.” Consider the video of the person in a diner getting up and respectfully telling someone at another table, “Ahem—you’re bi.” Consider an illustration of cuffed jeans! A photo of Megan Fox! A GIF of Che Diaz! The possibilities are endless.

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