I share this hesitation, but I’m very open! The same way I would be hesitant to date someone with little sexual experience or relationship experience, or someone much younger than me,

I would definitely want to move with extra intention.

This is not to take away from the person’s sexuality, but more so to protect my own heart and the success of the relationship. I personally went through a lot of shame and volatility during my first queer experience, and supporting another partner through that could be hard. It really just depends on the specific person. I’d want us to get to know each other well and understand each other’s perspectives, experiences, and intentions.

In a word: Yes! I was actually my partner’s first-ever boyfriend, and I had a lot of insecurities about it—all of which I placed right on his lap. It took a year until a friend intervened with some wisdom: Just because you’re insecure about something doesn’t mean it’s true. I was projecting so much onto him that I never really took him at his word—even when he was brave enough to say “I love you.” Boundaries are boundaries, so I respect yours.

But I guess I’d say we shouldn’t let insecurities get in the way of receiving a good thing when it’s standing right in front of us.

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